Time

"Time is the only reality of life, yet it is a strangely nonexistent reality: it constantly dissolves life in a past which no longer is, and in a future which always leads to death. By itself time is nothing but a line of telegraph poles strung out into the distance and at some point along the way is our death." -Alexander Schmemann, For the Life of the World

Time is a funny thing.

I have a really hard time with endings, like, an unnaturally hard time. We're talking, I cried on my way to turn in my last final on Friday, because it meant that my first year of grad school was over. Not all of grad school, just year one. Probably not normal.

I love new beginnings though. I know I love them, because I do them fairly often in spite of my profoundly hard time with endings.

Usually, when I'm in the midst of an ending, I feel as though someone is pouring a pool's worth of water over me while I stand with cupped hands, trying to catch it all. How am I supposed to hold all the good in my heart while still moving forward? I don't really know how, and that's why I'm thankful for time. I need its constraints. It doesn't wait on me, and I'm glad it doesn't. I need its push so that I can embrace the next good thing.