Complexity

I've come to the realization that I'm not a very complex person. I have complex conversations, I entertain some fairly complex ideas, and I like complex people, but I myself am not very complex. Sometimes I wish I was, and sometimes I like to think I am, but I'm not. I don't hide much. I'm not necessarily everything that one might gather after a first meeting with me, but I'm usually many of those perceptions, just with a few more pockets of something else here and there, or perhaps a little less of something that's assumed.

[Time out: I think I should distinguish between complexity and depth. Complexity, in my opinion, has a lot to do with life experiences, whereas depth has more to do with the ideas and feelings that one explores. I know a lot of people that I would consider deep but not complex. And conversely, I know some complex people that aren't very deep. That being said...]

Most of the complex people I know don't broadcast their complexity. Instead, they try to appear fairly simple and readable, not letting anyone in on the secret that a lot more is going on than what meets the eye; this only adds to their complexity. Every once in a while I meet a person who appears complex, and actually is complex, but this is rare. But ignoring that exception, the strange (and terribly obvious) thing about it all is that you don't know a person is complex until you know they're complex.

Nine times out of ten, when I get to know someone that I didn't initially like, that person is complex. They put up walls because they've been hurt, and walls are usually ugly. But when those walls are explained, their ugliness isn't as loud as their function.

All this tells me that it's important to remember that everyone carries a story. And in order to honor those stories, I think it may be safest to assume complexity. After all, even those of us who aren't complex have complexities.